Fall is Here

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Bittersweet October. The mellow, messy, leaf-kicking, perfect pause between the opposing miseries of summer and winter.
-- Carol Bishop Hipps

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.
-- John Muir

Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns.
-- George Eliot

For man, autumn is a time of harvest, of gathering together. For nature, it is a time of sowing, of scattering abroad.
-- Edwin Way Teale


No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace 
As I have seen in one autumnal face.
-- John Donne

October is a symphony of permanence and change.
-- Bonaro W. Overstreet

The foliage has been losing its freshness through the month of August, and here and there a yellow leaf shows itself like the first gray hair amidst the locks of a beauty who has seen one season too many. 
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes

The lands are lit with all the autumn blaze of golden-rod, and everywhere the purple asters nod and bend and wave and flit.
-- Helen Hunt

There is a harmony in autumn, and a luster in its sky, which through the summer is not heard or seen, as if it could not be, as if it had not been!
-- Percy Bysshe Shelley 

Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all. 
-- Stanley Horowitz

Youth is like spring, an over praised season more remarkable for biting winds than genial breezes. Autumn is the mellower season, and what we lose in flowers we more than gain in fruits.
-- Samuel Butler 

Tariffs Are The Greatest!

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Yes, it’s true that the United States has gotten short shrift on trade, particularly with China, but we shouldn’t be imposing tariffs on our European and Canadian allies.

And yes, it’s also true that “everybody’s talking” about the Trump administration’s crackdown on this country’s trading partners.

But they’re not talking about it in a good way. They certainly don’t see tariffs as “the greatest.”

It turns out that trade wars aren’t so easily winnable after all: Tit-for-tat tariffs appear to be hurting the very people who were supposed to be helped by Republican tax cuts — middle-class Americans and business owners.

The tariffs so far imposed will cost the average American household $60 a year — $33 of that just on newly taxed Chinese goods. So are tariffs the greatest?? Just ask a soybean farmern pork producer, a dairy farmer…and on and on!!

Humorous Fake News

 
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Man Spills Coffee on His Penis After Long Night of Drinking

After a long and hard night of drinking at his class reunion, walking back home in the rain, and then proceeding to throw up one of his kidneys, most of his internal organs, his spleen, his pancreas, the 1% of his liver that actually still works, and half of his face, Christopher Bradley, 38, confessed to reporters that he also accidentally spilled coffee on his penis the next day.

"I lost complete control of myself last night," Christopher told lead reporter, Thomas Bradley. "It was a wonderful time, but I think I drank too much," he further added.

When he got home, the middle-aged Christopher consumed a moldy piece of cheese, and outdated pack of Doritos, a box of Corn Flakes, and some rice before he peed in his own refrigerator and fell down on the living room floor.

"I woke up the next morning feeling like fucking shit," he said. "I stumbled out of my house, drove to the nearest gas station, bought some coffee, and that's when it happened," he recalled.

When Thomas Bradley asked him to further explain, Christopher said that he took a sharp left turn right before the hot coffee bounced out of the cup-holder in his truck and landed right on his penis.

"It hurt really bad," Christopher stated.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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