Tariffs Are The Greatest!

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Yes, it’s true that the United States has gotten short shrift on trade, particularly with China, but we shouldn’t be imposing tariffs on our European and Canadian allies.

And yes, it’s also true that “everybody’s talking” about the Trump administration’s crackdown on this country’s trading partners.

But they’re not talking about it in a good way. They certainly don’t see tariffs as “the greatest.”

It turns out that trade wars aren’t so easily winnable after all: Tit-for-tat tariffs appear to be hurting the very people who were supposed to be helped by Republican tax cuts — middle-class Americans and business owners.

The tariffs so far imposed will cost the average American household $60 a year — $33 of that just on newly taxed Chinese goods. So are tariffs the greatest?? Just ask a soybean farmern pork producer, a dairy farmer…and on and on!!

Humorous Fake News

Trump Demands to Know Who Put “Entering Crazytown” Sign on Oval Office Door.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump demanded on Friday that Attorney General Jeff Sessions investigate who put a sign reading “Entering Crazytown, U.S.A.” on the door to the Oval Office.

Trump reportedly noticed the sign for the first time Friday morning, and became enraged after asking Kellyanne Conway, the counsellor to the President, to read what it said to him.

According to White House insiders, determining the creator of the sign could prove difficult, because between seventy and a hundred White House staffers have been known to use the word “Crazytown” to describe their work environment.

“Whoever put that sign on my door has committed treason against the United States,” Trump told reporters, before turning away and revealing that someone had put a Post-it reading “President Stupidpants” on his back.


Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,” and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes theBorowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.